Double-check the photo below...
"If the mothers are thrifty, so are their daughters. If the mothers are modest, so are their girls. If the mothers wear flip flops and other casual clothing to sacrament meeting, so do their daughters.A mother remains a daughter's first line of defense against the wiles of the world."
- M. Russell Ballard, LDS Church First Presidency, April, 2010
Worst Nightmare: BYU Cougar Fans Watching The Game...
Church approved? No.
Exception : Life Guards
Exception : Life Guards
Church approved? No!
Exception:
Celebrity chef Mario Batali.
Church approved? No.
Exception: Sheep Herders
Church Approved? No
Exception: No Exceptions!
Church Approved Women's Shoes:
"I seriously think that flip-flops should be outlawed!" - Clair T. - Provo, Utah
"I've always had feet odor when wearing high heels. Flip-flops help prevent smelly feet. I hope that's not a sin. My daughter likes flip flops too."
- Suzy B. - Hurricane, UT
"Flip-Flops have never been a problem for me."
Paige Turner. - Jackson Hole, WY
"I love women in flip-flops!"
Sawyer B. Hind - Rattlebone Hollow, LA
"Flip-flops in Church are disgusting! Women's toes.
Ugh! I'm sure there is a scripture against that!"
Ted Pierce Cox- Dopin, Michigan
"I'm undecided!"
E. Fortune - Slippery Rock, PA
"I wore 'em to Church, Bishop interviews and Elders Quorum.
I don' t think anybody cared, really."
-Randy S. -
Goobies, Newfoundland
"Flip-Flops have never been a problem for me."
Paige Turner. - Jackson Hole, WY
"I love women in flip-flops!"
Sawyer B. Hind - Rattlebone Hollow, LA
Ugh! I'm sure there is a scripture against that!"
Ted Pierce Cox- Dopin, Michigan
E. Fortune - Slippery Rock, PA
Note: This post is a satire. Not to be taken seriously, OK? Inspired by 25 things a professional woman shouldn't wear - Excelle.
4 comments:
LOVE it! ITS all about the control...
Would "Jesus" care if you wore flip flops? He wore sandals, they were probably worn out also! :)
AND as for the LDS church claiming to follow the Bible? There are many versus that open arms to all. Reminds me of a church's sign I saw an the highway. "TRUCKERS ALWAYS WELCOME."
This is BRILLIANT! I love this blog! :-)
Help me make an artistic statement!!!
The recent mandates from the LDS leadership about Flip Flops has inspired me. I have been contemplating a new addition to my yard and I want to make a pathway to it but at the beginning of the path I'm going to make a sign that says, "The path to Hell-O is paved with Flip Flops" and it'll lead to a big sculpture I'm making from an old satelllite dish armiture.
On the eight steel arms will be a different resin or concrete sculpture of various gods, Vishnu, Jesus, Shiva, Buddah, etc. but in the middle will be the FSM, with his noodly appendages spread out to the various other Gods, welcoming them into his care.
On the armitures I'll hang some cables that will then have various scanty scandalous and obscene ladies underwear and the sculpture will be a tribute to the eternal Gods of Laundry.
So I know this is bizarre to request but if you have some old flip flops, some bizarre underwear that is too uncomfortable but entertaining to look at and you don't mind contributing them to my next freakish art project, please PM me and I'll give you my mailing address.
I calculated that I need about 200 pairs of flip flops to attach to the wire mesh that will then be embedded in the concrete and grouted to make the pathway.
I need approximately 30-40 bras, panties, girdles, and various oddities to hang on the clotheslines.
I can acquire at least six of the various Gods at my local Import and Swapmeets but I'm having a hard time finding the FSM. I think I'll have to manufacture him from my own mold or sculpture or assemblage.
When I get the FSM made and enough Flip Flops I'll purchase the other Gods and then put it together. I hope to offend most of my neighbors and all of my family but at least put a smile on someones face. It's the price I pay for art i guess.
I'm not kidding ladies and gentlemen. I need your old ratty flipflops. the more colorful the better. Don't worry if the straps are broken. That's where I'll wire them to the mesh base anyway.
E-mail me at insanad@cox.net and I'll be happy to send you my address where you can send your flip flops and photos of my yard to get an idea of how you'll help create bad art in a good LDS neighborhood.
Oh, my flip. Great stuff.
Great, I mean evil, minds think alike.
My Flippin' Review of Conference
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